because it's bad enough to be undeserving. ingratitude only compounds the problem.
this isn't to say I haven't done right in my life. but I have done wrong as well. life's not fair at all; that's what I tell the girls when something doesn't work out the way they want it to. sometimes you get less than you want and sometimes you're overwhelmed with the sort of abundance that numbers don't apply to. maybe there's a balance somewhere, but good things happen to bad people and vice versa all the time.
I hear about gratitude journals and so on, and at one point I was thinking of three things every day that I was grateful for and sending them off in an email. often it felt forced, like a false positivity, a grim sort of cheerfulness. but I think I just wasn't doing it the way that made sense to me.
does it all mean something? nothing? planned, random, a little of both? who knows? I don't. but I'm here, and there are beautiful reasons to say thank you, everywhere you look, and often in the places you forget completely.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I've decided that I'm quite undeserving of such a rich and full life, and need to stop complaining and be grateful.
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5 comments:
I agree with all but the undeserving part - if you're alive, you deserve whatever is good in life. If you don't get it, it's not because you don't deserve it - I think life is supremely indifferent to our wants. It gives us all we need.
There are several roses in my garden and they have one thing in common - scent. Why would anyone cultivate a rose that didn't smell?
I must have a go at making one of your montages one day - they're inspirational,
someone to love, something to do, something to look forward to - those are the three things my mother said were the keys to happiness.
thank you, pauline and dave, for the comments. I've been busy painting and stretching my wings a little, making trips into the city for various art-related things. but I'm home now for a couple days, so I'll just get back to work on the bits and pieces I'm making (they're all starting to come together and it's exciting) and when I'm not doing that I'll wait for dave's montages to come rolling in, that will be a treat.
just checking in - we have had so much going on, I've let some of my favorite blog reading go... you're still making lovely posts and art over here, I see!
sending good energy your way!
thanks, billie, good energy is always welcome, especially now that it's light so late in the mornings and dark so early at night. hope things are going well for you, I'll have to stop by and see what you've been up to.
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