Thursday, August 28, 2008

it's been forever, I know.

but you know sometimes how you just get caught up in something and all your effort goes into walking down that particular path?

I get distracted. and I've been trying to figure out how to do some things I said I'd do, without understanding exactly what I was saying yes to, and it's just five days now until I'm supposed to be doing what I said I could do - and can, and more, it's just a matter of confidence. some days I have it, some days, well.

so anyway. I've been painting a lot. not writing so much. not on the computer much at all except to check email now and then. deleting old pictures. getting rid of things, making room for new things, or nothing, I suppose. making room for nothing. going to carnivals.

the shed has a new cat. the black one is chasing mice on some farm somewhere. neither of them was ever mine, if cats are ever anyone's anyway. but for some reason the shed collects cats. and moths. the moths flutter out at dusk, or I find them sleeping and surprised when I turn over some forgotten half-finished project. sometimes they sleep in the folds of my shed coat.

I don't mean to speak in riddles, really, but it's my first language, incoherence. so anything understandable is a rough and incomplete translation. some days it doesn't seem worth the effort, to make the leap from the unruly stream of thought to the discipline of sentences.