Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Been taking lots of pictures.




Pictures, video, yard work - and, of course, the ever-present laundry.

Sometimes, I must admit, I fling the wet clothes into the dryer so enthusiastically they bang the drum like a bell. This is usually when I'm a little irritated at someone for doing something or other. The reasons for irritation vary. It's me, of course, and my reaction, and not so much the events that transpire that are the problem. I realize this, even as I'm gritting my teeth against the sharp words and throwing wet socks like baseballs.

But I have such transcendent moments sometimes. And then even the mundane acts of duty are elevated by love into gifts, given and received. It all balances out. I just tend to cling to the extremes, but I believe I've got as much of the middle as I'm entitled to, if anyone's entitled to anything.

2 comments:

Pauline said...

I know your highs and lows sometimes make you wonder but imagine a life without them - a horrid sameness. I've been caught in that space and it isn't a good place to be. So delighted you share your rollercoaster ride with us!

shara said...

just this morning, pauline, I came to the conclusion that in order to balance I have to allow myself the freedom to experience the sorrow and joy as fully and honestly as possible. the sorrow still sucks. but today the whole blue air is filled with pink falling cherry blossoms, the sun just came out, I sang for myself in the shed, I had landscaping epiphanies by the bamboo and tossed some of last week's cherry blossom bouquet into the drainage trench I've been helping to dig in the backyard and envisioned a pond there, with waterlilies, and an island. I love the bliss. I just have to not need it so much. and then not be so overwhelmed with desolation when the sadness comes, because it always will, or at least that's how it currently makes a dim sort of sense to me.

none of this rambling, of course, is getting my boots on and the muck raked. we can compare garden notes. I'm still working on your songs, they're coming along, the bobolink one swings now, it's so much fun to sing. and I've been writing very basic attempts at poetry. (I'm even considering starting - or encouraging the start of but not actually doing the organizing, because I'm a lazy creature by nature - a neighbourhood ladies' garden and social club.)